i've just seen a face

my face just keeps getting bigger and bigger. my neck too. they won't stop growing.



did you know that i've gained more weight than my pregnant wife? sympathy weight, they call it.


did you know that my hat size is now the same as barry bond's? 7 and 3/4ths, it's true.


did you know that my neck size is now a 16 and a 1/2? i can't button the last button of more than half of my work shirts.


now that you know that, i think you also know my new year's resolution. it's to lose weight, face and neck weight!


i look back at pictures and think what a skinny face i once had. what a pretty, skinny face. i don't want to be accused of taking hgh anymore. i don't want to be referred to as mr. turkeyneck again.


now, if they only had a face and neck machine at the ymca ...