it's the most wonderful time of the year

so now that i've been "outed" as an "obessive nutjob," i figure it's time to do something about my stress. and, since my gutters are clean and my magnets have been arranged, i'm going to start by "busting some holiday stress." with three families to visit, friends in town and hours to bill, i think it could do me some good.


according to familyeducation.com's article entitled "holiday stress-busters," there are 5 signs that you need to "bust your holiday stress": (1) you're irritable; (2) you're losing sleep; (3) you're losing or gaining weight; (4) you feel tense - with muscle aches or headaches; and (5) you feel overwhelmed. since i'm "always" irritable (according to my wife), i rarely sleep thru the nite, i'm rapidly gaining weight (it's been way too cold outside to power-walk) and my tooth always hurts, i could really use some advice. 4 out of 5's not too bad, is it?

familyeducation.com suggests the following tips:

Reassess and Prioritize - Holiday stress sets in when you try to do it all. "Stress is an emotional reaction to circumstances that you feel are out of control," says Vernon. "To cope, take some time out, rethink what's stressing you out, and look for alternatives." Vernon also advises changing your demands to preferences: Tell yourself, "If I have time, I'll do this and that. If not, I'll only do that."

i don't know who this vernon guy is, but this seems like good advice. my wife told me to clean the bathroom, and i told her "if i have time, i'll blog, eat cheetos AND clean the bathroom; if not, i'll only blog and eat cheetos." i feel better already, but my wife didn't like it too much.

Delegate! - Does the house need cleaning or decorating? Let each family member be responsible for a room. Or Vernon suggests, create a "job jar." Everybody takes a turn choosing what his or her job will be. Jobs can be color-coded according to age. "When you delegate, you have to make your expectations clear to your kids, and you may have to lower your standards a little bit," says Vernon.

i'm happy to say that i just got back from making a "job jar." my wife didn't understand it at first, so i color-coded it for her. she got brown since she has to clean the bathroom.

Don't Give in to the "Gimmes" - "I want, I want!" This familiar phrase can wear parents down over the holidays, but giving in to your child's every request can cause financial distress. Psychologist Dorothy Cantor says, "It's okay to tell your child that a gift is too expensive. Tell him that even Santa Claus has limited funds."

my wife and i don't have kids yet, but we're dinks and we too have wants. we want a bigger house, a trip to boston, a new car and a european vacation next year. therefore, i'm skipping this suggestion!

Be Realistic About Relatives - When the in-laws visit this season, have realistic expectations for the short term. "Don't try to solve past issues with family members over the holidays," warns Vernon. "It's not the time to bring up every little irritation. Use discretion." And if going to a certain relative's house every year causes a lot of stress, decide if you really need to do it. Maybe you can go every other year instead.

i read this article AFTER thanksgiving. i should've read it before. 19 hours and 3 turkey dinners later, i've had about as much family as i can handle. you'd be proud of me, though. i walked on egg shells all day long and didn't bring up any "past issues" with family members. i did, however, have to bite my tongue for a substantial majority of the holiday. my family, amazing as it is, has become dysfunctional than ever. next year, we're having a mcdoer thanksgiving with friends and friends only.

Flexibility Can Buy You Time - How can you get anything done when the little ones are home on vacation and you only have a few days off? University of Indiana education professor Janette Shaw suggests parents take turns looking after kids with neighbors or colleagues. And Vernon recommends hiring a babysitter to take the kids to the movies or to play with them for a few hours while you're working around the house.

again, vernon, we're childless, so this isn't the most appropriate advice. it is, however, difficult for me to get things done with my better half around. so tonite i'm dropping my wife off with neighbors or colleagues and going to the boats and the strip club with my brother. sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Above all else, Vernon says parents should take it easy on themselves over the holidays: "This time of year, people are so concerned by what others might say about them if they don't do everything perfectly." Ask yourself what imperfection really means. Surprise! You're human — like everyone else.

i'm already feeling less stressed. i haven't thought about finances or lawnboys all day. that being said, though, i am perfect and i'm not human.