the question is how fast

boy or girl? blue or pink? jack mcdoer vi or jacklyn mcdoer?

my wife didn't want to know the baby's gender. she wanted it to be a surprise. i, on the other hand, being anal retentive and a crazy obsessive planner, had to know. needed to know. and, using my super lawyer powers of persusion, i convinced her that my position was the correct one (in exchange for ceding any and all say or control in the color scheme and/or decoration of said baby's room).

all signs indicated that our little bundle of joy was a boy. i came from a long line of powerful men. i was one of three mcdoer boys. and my wife didn't experience morning sickness, craved meats and cheeses and had headaches.

my wife, however, insisted it was a girl. whether she was in denial of the thought of naming our little boy jack mcdoer vi or having men overrun the house, i don't know. she claims, however, to have the ability to predict the future in her dreams, and in her dreams, it was a little girl.

so we met at the doctor's office for sonogram #2 not knowing what to expect. i was so excited. i couldn't sleep the night before. i couldn't work that day. what was it going to be?

the sonogrammer, sonogramist, sonogramographer (?) sure took her sweet time to get to gender. she went orifice by orifice, organ by organ, system by system, making sure everything was o.k. (which, thankfully, it is), and after about 20 minutes, finally asked if we wanted to know the baby's sex. before my wife could speak, i shouted out "yes, yes, yes." and ...

we're having a little baby girl!

we were both really surprised. my wife had switched positions, at least so she said, now thinking it was a boy, or at least claiming that it was so she could still present herself as a dream manipulater. she asked "are you sure?" and, sure enough, not only did the baby not have little boy parts, she had little folds. that's what the sonogrammer said. but that's the last time anyone ever gets to mention my little girl's folds!

so, here we are, excited as we can possibly be! we're starting to decorate the room, or at least plan to decorate the room. of course, my wife wants some sort of french decor, and i don't get my pink room with princess and dragon pictures, pursuant to our agreement.