communication breakdown

not a lot of new records have been catching my ear lately (minus marah). maybe it's that time of year. maybe my ears are getting old. or maybe the hipster stuff's just too hipster these days.

i have, however, been buying/listening to a lot of stuff that i missed the first time around, like:

the breeders - pod - had last splash, the amps and title tk forever. never had this one, though. finally got it, and dang, i was missing oooooooout. kim deal's the coolest woman in rock.

led zeppelin - mothership - always thought they sucked. but all i knew was "stairway to heaven". then i got this sweet greatest hits package and can't believe how stupid i was.

jawbox - for your own special sweetheart - heard of em, but not anything by em. got this on emusic, and it rocks my 30-year-old ass.

anything you guys recommend checking out that i've missed?

the question is how fast

boy or girl? blue or pink? jack mcdoer vi or jacklyn mcdoer?

my wife didn't want to know the baby's gender. she wanted it to be a surprise. i, on the other hand, being anal retentive and a crazy obsessive planner, had to know. needed to know. and, using my super lawyer powers of persusion, i convinced her that my position was the correct one (in exchange for ceding any and all say or control in the color scheme and/or decoration of said baby's room).

all signs indicated that our little bundle of joy was a boy. i came from a long line of powerful men. i was one of three mcdoer boys. and my wife didn't experience morning sickness, craved meats and cheeses and had headaches.

my wife, however, insisted it was a girl. whether she was in denial of the thought of naming our little boy jack mcdoer vi or having men overrun the house, i don't know. she claims, however, to have the ability to predict the future in her dreams, and in her dreams, it was a little girl.

so we met at the doctor's office for sonogram #2 not knowing what to expect. i was so excited. i couldn't sleep the night before. i couldn't work that day. what was it going to be?

the sonogrammer, sonogramist, sonogramographer (?) sure took her sweet time to get to gender. she went orifice by orifice, organ by organ, system by system, making sure everything was o.k. (which, thankfully, it is), and after about 20 minutes, finally asked if we wanted to know the baby's sex. before my wife could speak, i shouted out "yes, yes, yes." and ...

we're having a little baby girl!

we were both really surprised. my wife had switched positions, at least so she said, now thinking it was a boy, or at least claiming that it was so she could still present herself as a dream manipulater. she asked "are you sure?" and, sure enough, not only did the baby not have little boy parts, she had little folds. that's what the sonogrammer said. but that's the last time anyone ever gets to mention my little girl's folds!

so, here we are, excited as we can possibly be! we're starting to decorate the room, or at least plan to decorate the room. of course, my wife wants some sort of french decor, and i don't get my pink room with princess and dragon pictures, pursuant to our agreement.

mvp haircuit

spurned last year by chick-fil-A in an attempt to be 1 of the first 100 customers at its new location and win free chicken sandwiches for a year, i reluctantly crawled out of bed at 3 a.m. yesterday morning in hopes of doing the same at sports clips' newest store (and winning free haircuts for a year, not free chicken sandwiches). i took a quick shower, hopped in my car, and sped through the night to obtain my elusive prize. undaunted by the long line of other men in need of free haircuts for a year, i waited alongside sporty (sports clips' mascot) in the freezing cold just hoping that i wasn't too late. i counted about 105 men in front of me, but slowly and surely, 1 or 2 every hour would get in their cars and leave, mumbling to themselves how it simply wasn't worth it or that they couldn't feel their hands and feet anymore. i faded in and out of consciousness, trudging closer and closer to the front door. once the store finally opened, it was another 4 1/2 hours before i got in, but it was well worth it. at approximately 12:30 p.m., more than 9 hours after i'd started, i walked in the door to haircut heaven, paid a measly $21 for an mvp haircut, and received vouchers for a free precision haircut for every month of 2008 and one for january 2009 ...

of course, i'm exaggerating a little bit. in reality, as opposed to blogworld, i stumbled out of bed at 10:30 or 10:45 a.m., definitely didn't shower, didn't wait in line, watched the ku-bc game for about 20 minutes in the front room and still got my free haircuts for a year at 11:15 a.m.

in appreciation of my free prize, though, i'll do some free advertising for sports clips, "where guys win." it was pretty great. there was a flat screen in the front room. with sports on. the only magazines to read were sports magazines, as opposed to better homes and gardens, parenting and aarp. and they had little tvs, with sports on, in the "locker area."

and i haven't even mentioned the haircut yet. it consisted of: a consultation and precision cut by a guy-smart stylist; a relaxing shampoo with invigorating scalp massage; a sterilized steamed towel and time to kick back; leave-in conditioner; and a neck and shoulder massage. my wife claims she gets the same with every haircut, but let me just tell you, you sure don't get it at great clips!

orange ya glad to be a jayhawk

my kansas football jayhawks are orange bowl champions! 13-0 in basketball isn't bad, either! rock chalk, jayhawk! go ku!

i've just seen a face

my face just keeps getting bigger and bigger. my neck too. they won't stop growing.



did you know that i've gained more weight than my pregnant wife? sympathy weight, they call it.


did you know that my hat size is now the same as barry bond's? 7 and 3/4ths, it's true.


did you know that my neck size is now a 16 and a 1/2? i can't button the last button of more than half of my work shirts.


now that you know that, i think you also know my new year's resolution. it's to lose weight, face and neck weight!


i look back at pictures and think what a skinny face i once had. what a pretty, skinny face. i don't want to be accused of taking hgh anymore. i don't want to be referred to as mr. turkeyneck again.


now, if they only had a face and neck machine at the ymca ...